“…You wonder about the shapes of your legs, the arch of your back, the convexity of your stomach. You’ve always wondered if it really matters. Maybe, to this one, it does. Or maybe it’s one thing you didn’t do, that you haven’t learned yet. Maybe it’s all like multiplication tables - it’s practice, the same motions, the same thought patterns, over and over until you can say, off the top of your head, five times seven is thirty-five, look at him out of the corner of your eye and wait until he looks back at you and then smile, don’t be so frightened, don’t look away, don’t think about the fact that he could crush you with only a few words, like they all can, they all have this one ability, this one poison in common. Don’t think about that.
There’s nothing more frustrating than a hypothesis left in the air. Not enough subjects for significant results. Maybe the one instance was coincidence, or maybe it was just the right incidence of factors, variables in just the right order. Or maybe there’s no logic to any of this. In which case, how do you know when to throw yourself out there, flung like a delicate shirt on a clothesline, and when to curl up and away from them all? How do you know? How could I know?”
Sometimes I go through old posts of my other blogs on Saturday night and I decide to be one of those people who reblogs themselves because it feels relevant, so suck it.