I accidentally bought Oreos with birthday cake filling
life is hell
I love Louis Black stand-up because he GIVES ZERO FUCKS and gets PASSIONATE about it and I feel like we could be friends
i dont understand people who only sleep with one pillow
Samuel L. Jackson in Jurassic Park (1993)
Wait. Somebody’s buying Tumblr? Must have been super impressed with the way the latest update made all images stop loading on the mobile app dash.
Killing it as usual, guys.
I had a dream that I hit my head.
I tried to go on about my day afterwards, but there was a feeling, right at the top of my skull, that was distracting me. I touched it and realized I was bleeding.
I couldn’t stop it with makeshift bandages or willpower. I tried to pretend nothing had happened, but every time I moved, the wound got bigger. I could feel blood running down my face, but no one around me mentioned a thing. Maybe a quick second glance, then on with their lives.
I finally started screaming. In a crowded room. Screaming. And everyone’s expressions told me what I already knew. My pain was not important to their lives. Of course. I was selfish to believe it would be.
I don’t remember how it ended. I woke up thinking about that cat yesterday. The way the car hit its head. The way it bled to death in front of me, trembling. I was too afraid to touch it so I tried to speak to it softly, hoping it would be comforted. I didn’t know what else to do. After half an hour waiting for Animal Control, everyone standing around it wondered when we could leave. Not our pain. Not anymore.