Wait. Wait. This is not my hat.
I am Katie. I am a recent college grad. I live in Chicago. You are now bored with this autobiography.
This is my Twitter, where I am annoying in shorter spurts.
This is my blog of poems and prose I like.
This is my blog of food that I've made.
Ask me a question here.
Recent Tweets
@katefeetie
Posts I Like
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averyrevealing10secs asked: Annie. I saw Christoph on Kimmel and my first thought was oh boy Annie will love this. A treat awaits after Perth ;)
I GOT EXCITED AND WATCHED IT NOW EVEN THOUGH I REALLY NEED TO GET READY FOR MY BUS. SLKDHGSH IT’S TOO MUCH.
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I hate being stupid.
I am not a genius, but I am passably intelligent at times. Not when I’m depressed. Reading is, like, so hard guys because...
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Except but how I guess it's important.
Walking from Marie’s to the ATM tonight, I heard a lady behind me say, “But if you’re threatened…” and a guy...
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YOU GUYS ME AND MY CHILI ARE GETTING MARRIED
IT WILL BE A SMALL CEREMONY IN MAH BELLEH BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE CHILI LIVES NOW
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“Weird love’s better than no love.”— Buffy continues to speak to my soul, y’all.
Who I Follow
- Woman: I'll have a tall decaf Blonde roast, please.
- Me: We don't have decaf Blonde roast ground or brewing right now. The only decaf we have is Pike's, which we can do as a pour-over.
- Woman: What?!
- Me: The only three coffees we're serving are regular Pike's, regular Blonde, and decaf Pike's.
- Woman: That doesn't make any sense. How can you not have decaf Blonde?
- Me: We're a kiosk. We only grind three coffees in the morning. Those are the only coffees we can brew all day. You can buy a bag of decaf Blonde if you-
- Woman: EXPLAIN YOURSELF.
- Me: Okay. We can't grind a whole bag for one person. We only grind three-
- Woman: THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I'M CALLING STARBUCKS HEADQUARTERS. WHATEVER. I'LL HAVE REGULAR DECAF. GET ME MY COFFEE.
- Me: That's fine, ma'am.
- I take several minutes to do a decaf pour-over, the most pain in the ass order ever, but whatever. She stands at the side making impatient noises the whole time and leaves without thanking me.
- Five minutes later, an even longer line, her friend comes up.
- Guy: What's this about you not having decaf Blonde roast?
- Me: We can only brew you a coffee if it's already ground.
- Guy: So you can't grind it if someone orders it?
- Me: We would have to take an entire one-pound bag of decaf Blonde, grind it, then make it as a pour-over. It's a twelve dollar bag of coffee made for one person for less than two dollars. That would be a tremendous waste of money.
- Guy: So this is about money?
- Me: Sir, I don't make the rules. We always only grind three-
- Guy: Starbucks always makes the coffee we want. I'm calling your headquarters. They're going to hear about this.
- Me: Well, I hope you have fun with that. NEXT ORDER, PLEASE.
- I'm probably going to get in trouble for that last bit, but one of my supervisors heard this whole thing, so I'm not too worried. Also, I have never wanted to spit in a drink that badly.
- I get about two or three old white guys a day sighing and complaining and whining that we don't have the exact brew they want. It has gotten to the point that I have to brace myself when old white people come up to the counter. Because God fucking forbid you don't get every single little thing handed to you in life. Congrats on making me racist, retail.
