“Farter on the Roof”
“Farter of the Opera”
“How to Succeed in Farts Without Really Trying”
“Death of a Fartman”
“Les Miserfarts”
“Cats… With Farts.”
“FartRent”
“Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred fartlets… How do you measure, measure a year…”
“How about… Faaaaarts?”
Faaaarting… All alone in the mooooonlight…
Burrd n gurmm
is telling his coworkers about the time he went snorkeling in the Bahamas and he found a dead body.
“So now my wife doesn’t like going snorkeling anymore. Go figure.”
Drunk on two beers in public on a Wednesday!
Food is expensive, beer is expensive, eat less food so you can get drunk on fewer beers!
I met with my boss today and told her about Virginia and she said “uuuuughhh” and I said “I knooow, I’m the woooorst” and she said “you aaaaaaaare.”
She then told me I should write a memoir of the hijinks I get into while travelling 14 hours in a car with an insane cat.
Next step: figuring out when I can go, you know, fly over there and find a place to live or whatever.
I got so excited at the idea of transferring my apartment-search spreadsheet into a series of double-sided printed checklists that I bounced a little in my chair.
