fuzzy pants, sweatshirt, blankets, hot tea, mandatory cat cuddles. When I get cold, I get really fucking cold.
We got a badass over here.
I’m one of those people who got attendance awards in elementary and middle school because my dad was a doctor whose rule was, “If all four limbs are still there, you’re going to school.” I skipped class a few times in high school but the guilt of blowing off free education, mixed with the worry that I would miss important information, meant I always made up for it several...
If there was an official ranking system of everyone in the world based on talent for phone interviews, I would be at the very bottom, number seven billion and whatever, and there would be an asterisk next to my name, and the footnote would say “the wooooooorst.”
Meet the new Katie, same as the old Katie.
My replacement’s first day is today. I didn’t even know they’d hired someone new already (“Target: Always Hiring, Shh Don’t Ask Why”). The new girl is a short, chubby, quiet, over-nice, super-confused blonde. Yep. They hired Katie again.
Closing alone on a Sunday, the worst day to close,...
I came in to a line of 10 people, the new guy staying 20 minutes late to help me, and yet another note from my boss about how we all need to stop “slacking.”
These people have GOT to start watching out for...
Reason #456 Why I am Awesome to Go to the Movies...
Spending the two and a half hours of The Hunger Games in the fourth row, alternately crying and whimpering “PEEEEEETAAAAAAAAAA.” Very good film adaptation, the whole style really fit the atmosphere of the book, and yes, they took a lot of stuff out, maybe a few things they shouldn’t have, but they also took advantage of film as a medium and put good new scenes in, and also,...
My battery is NOT almost de
3 hours til I'm off work.
4.5 hours until The Hunger Games. 272 hours until I don’t work here anymore. 7 hours until I’ve seen The Hunger Games and I want to see it again. 12 minutes until my break is over. X minutes until someone realizes I ate all the jelly beans in the break room.
UGH, YOU ARE THE BRITTA OF CATS.– Me, to this bitch who responded to me hugging her and saying “I loooovvvee youuuu” by putting her paw, claws out, into my mouth. For reference, Britta is the AT&T of people. AT&T is the Jo of phone services.
I just got my first bug bite of Spring. IT HAS BEGUN. Whoever is in charge of “When Norman Reedus/Daryl Dixon Has A Shirt On and When He Does Not” on The Walking Dead is doing their job very, very badly. I just bought an air conditioning unit thing online and I haven’t been this excited about something since I remembered while typing this sentence that I’m seeing The...
Andrea's last name must be Kill.
Sister of Buzz.
The Walking Dead and the Standing Around Being Boring Living
Taking a time-out from The Simpsons to watch the...
I’m on episode 5 and I’m waiting for the zombies to arrive, because so far this seems to just be a documentary about the conditions in modern-day Georgia.
IT'S SO DAMN HOT
NOT HAVING AN AIR CONDITIONER YET WAS A BAD CHOICE
The cat's face is on my butt
THIS IS WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR IN A ROOMMATE. COUGH COUGH KRISTA COUGH COUGH
Days like this make me want to
KILL THE BATMAN
It's not just that I hate this job
It’s that no one should have to put up with being underpaid and overworked by Target. They’re too cheap to give out enough shifts on busy days for people to cover each other’s breaks and they fire people mid-shift to avoid paying them a few extra bucks, among a million other shitty things they do to their workers. When I quit, it’s going to be someone else putting up...
Somehow, I'm at Mullen's on St. Patty's Day Eve.
SO MANY BROS
At lunch, the day after receiving my smallest...
A new pair of Sauconys, because they’re the only shoes I can stand in all day. A bartending course on Living Social, so I could get a job doing pretty much what I’m doing now, but make money. An iPad, because a girl can dream. Gas, because dammit, Chicago, $4.50/gallon? One of those kits for teaching your cat to poop in the toilet, because lol. Lollapalooza tickets,...
This is why Suzanne Collins should have called me...
Hunger Games Hunger Games 2: Hungrier Games Hunger Games 3: Seriously, Can We Call a Time Out, I Need a Sandwich
Harry Potter - magic + 1984 = The Hunger Games
But with a chick.
In a McDonald's in Blytheville, Arkansas
an enormous black construction worker giggles at me and says “I was about to cry!” after I realized I mistakenly grabbed his food instead of mine.