My friend Sarah, dancing at an awkward, sweaty,...
“OH MY GOD! IT’S LIKE WE’RE AT A STATE SCHOOL!”
rolandfox-deactivated20120116 asked: You should go all Pump Up The Volume on them and take that radio show hostage. Mainly because you could play my demo tape then.
burwell asked: what type of stuff do you do on your radio show? and also is it streaming on the internet?
Her: Hey, you should come to my art show tomorrow. It's at 6:00.
Me: Alright. Putting it in my phone as "Fart Show". Where is it?
Her: It's at The Box.
Me: "The Cocks" it is, then.
Her: I'm going to kill you in your sleep.
Me: But I'm so looking forward to seeing your fart on display!
Things that have been happening on my campus:
At a fraternity house, two women were sexually assaulted in one weekend. A male student was expelled. This was several weeks ago. And I haven’t stopped being angry. It’s seeping into every part of my life. There is an uproar and a lot of information coming out of the woodwork. Everyone is pointing fingers at everyone else. Some say it’s the Greek system. Some blame the...
CNN says I might make you pee a little. →
nickdouglas: With a travel tweet. Oh, hey, look at me at the top there. I’m on the Internet. More.
OH NO I BROKE MY ROBOT HELMET
Wikipedia - List of Common Misconceptions →
A snippet from my afternoon nap dream.
Bradley Cooper: Hey, you're so tan and kind of pretty.
Me: This is a dream, isn't it?
Bradley Cooper: Yep.
Charlie Brooker: Hey, do you want some of this tiramisu I made?
Me: Sure! Dreams don't have calories!
Charlie Brooker: We don't have anywhere to sit. It's really crowded in your old second grade classroom and Jesus took the last two tables.
Me: Damn it, Jesus.
Jesus: Hey, I hope you guys don't mind, I took the rest of the Cheez-its.
Bradley Cooper: That's not cool, Jesus. Katie, tell him to give us our snack crackers back.
Me: Why me?
Jesus: It's YOUR dinner party.
I follow you on twitter. You’re almost always funny and I think you’re insanely cute. What do you find attractive in a guy? Aww, thanks. This totally made my day. I will now answer your question with a stereotype: I love funny guys. I’m almost instantly attracted to someone who can make me laugh. I’ve had crushes on some wonky-looking fellows in the...
I wrote it.
I wrote the shit out of it. And halfway through, I ate half a pizza. Suck on that, writer’s block.
How I am spending Valentine's *insert childish...
Hung over and eating every piece of chocolate within viewing distance, then sitting in the computer lab for 12 hours, banging my head into the desk to the rhythm of a Beyonce song until I go into a coma of fabulousness because I have a play due tomorrow and I have been completely blanking on any semblance of an idea for setting, characters and plot for the past two days. Either that, or sitting in...
FUCK WRITER'S BLOCK.
You're all a bunch of awesome motherfuckers.
So, someone set my apartment on fire.
It’s alright now. Nothing too badly damaged. Cool story, bro: At about 1:30, one of my roommates and I were sitting in our bedroom, on the internet like all cool kids at 1:30 AM Saturday morning. The fire alarm went off. We both groaned, because that usually means some idiot got drunk and started smoking inside or burned popcorn. We put on shoes and jackets and went out to get our coats and...
I enjoy Lost.
A lot. I absolutely love it. And I get that a lot of people don’t. A lot of people hate it. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve mentioned how much I love it and people have replied “Yeah, I stopped watching after the first season” or “I’ve only seen a few episodes. I don’t get it.” Fine. That’s your thing. This is mine. I...
drjeff asked: Are you a pysch major?
irresponsiblyaffectionate asked: What gives you the right?